A few years ago when I was back from pissing away the paltry savings I had accumulated from my twenties on a round the world trip,I had a vague plan that I would get my shit together(read life) by the age of 34. This entailed getting a career on track,having my own house, remaining in a loving, committed relationship and generally being happy with my lot in life.Today is my birthday and it’s my last one before I turn 34 so I am officially old. Not a little bit old, very old. So very old that I am now closer in age to Jennifer Aniston than Lawrence, while unfortunately looking like neither. So gnarled and wrinkly that I have now outlived my teenage idol Kurt Cobain by a whole six years.I am now in the age of Christ- I have been on this earth for as long as Jesus Christ was, which is a terrifying thought.
I always knew this day would come but I imagined I would be in a better situation lifestyle wise. While I’m lucky enough to have an amazing partner who balances me out, buoys me up and puts up with my craziness and have been blessed with two fabulous daughters, I thought by now I would have achieved a bit more when it comes to work, that I wouldn’t cower in fear when asked the dreaded question
“So, what do you do?”
I want to be able to say writer and acupuncturist but having made not much money from either venture in the past few years, I have a choice. Either stay poor and be a less than shining example for my daughters or return to a job I have no love for,one that I thought I had left behind but my inability to garner any semblance of a career path indicates otherwise. I’m no longer really early 30s, I’m now (gulp) mid-thirties. Isn’t it about time I had my own house?Isn’t it about time I could answer any probing career questions with a confident and happy answer. Isn’t it about time I had some semblance of success
“What would Jesus do?”
What does this mean exactly?Well I’m not the most religious of people but I’ve always liked the historical figure of Jesus Christ, and while I don’t believe that he is the son of God, I do believe that about 2000 years ago, there was a dude called Jesus who lived in present day Israel and lead a good life, inspiring others to do the same. So me doing what I believe Jesus would do means I’m going to attempt to be a better human being-be kinder to strangers, be a more patient mummy to my kids, be a more thoughtful friend and daughter. Make little changes which I hope will lead to big ones. And work on the bloody career path. Because all those hours spent in a job you absolutely hate can’t be good for the soul.
|Still from the movie Dogma.|