Adventures in Flat Pack Land

They and by they I mean Baz Luhrman,say you should do one thing every day that scares you. I’m a subscriber to that belief and if not quite scare,than to mildly befuddle or bemuse myself by taking on a new challenge is wholly acceptable too.

Myself and the minis were regretably housebound today due to a nocturnal bout of a stomach bug in the smallest mini. Why is it my daughters only decide to projectile vomit during the darkest hours of night?

So while they caught up on missed sleep,I committed my new venture to action and set about assembling a piece of flat pack furniture,a sexy little number from the Mecca of unassembled shit in cardboard boxes or Ikea to you and me. It’s always the Frenchman who assembles the flat pack items,you see.Sometimes gender stereotyping just comes so naturally to us,we don’t even realise we’re doing it.

My target was yet another storage unit for the Minis ever expanding empire of plastic playroom. I opened the box to find cheap material, a whole bag of fitting together type implements and then the tools. I’ve never felt so manly. All I was missing was a can of lager.And a penis I guess.But I digress.



Now I’m not the best one for following instructions but it’s kind of a given when you’re assembling flat pack otherwise you leave yourself open to a whole plethora of aggravating issues like a chair with three legs or a tv stand that won’t be capable of bearing the weight of a remote never mind it’s intended target.

To be fair the instructions for this storage unit were piss easy but I still managed to screw in parts incorrectly.That’s the one nightmare scenario with flat pack.If you fuck up a step,you have to undo it and start again.

Fuck up aside,I still managed to assemble the unit in less than half an hour while the minis were napping away,or so I thought!

Here’s the finished product.Not too shabby,eh?

So there so you go,new mission completed in the time it took one Mini to empty an entire container of herbal salt all over the guest bedroom and for the another one to hide the wireless keyboard and mouse for the Mac,both of which are still at large.There’s a lesson there somewhere.

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