This week is Mental Health Awareness Week in the UK. Kinda fitting really as this is the week I started meds.As in medication.For my illness.My mental health illness.Straight up depression with a side order of anxiety. Yummy.
I feel like a Woody Allen cliche.30 something creative type finds herself unable to process the outside world and so resorts to drugs.
It’s called Lexapro.I take it once a day for the next 3-6 months. Its not like valium in that you feel instantly better.No this works gradually.It doesn’t suit everyone and there are side effects. My GP has advised me to give it a week and see how I feel.We ‘re into Day 4 and its making me sleepy.Very sleepy. Which isn’t great with two hyperactive little monsters bouncing off the walls. It’s also been making me feel lazy. The house is sliding into disrepute and all I can think about is not the dirty dishes in the sink and the mounds of laundry but the latest Netflix series I’m addicted to-Friday Night Lights.It’s so good!
Maybe this is exactly what I need.It’s allowing me to slow down and take stock of things,try to mend what needs to be fixed. My mood is better and crucially I’ve been able to keep my temper in check for the most part.Although I did let fly at Mini this morning when she refused point blank to let me dress her as the clock was ticking towards her inevitable tardiness for preschool.
I’m continuing to talk to friends about what I’m going through and this is really helping too.As have all your messages of support. If anyone reading this is feeling low or think they may be depressed,I can’t stress enough how important it is to talk to someone about it. It took me long enough but I’ll never make that mistake again. It’s true what they say,together we can break the stigma.
If you think you’re alone,you’re not.Just look at the thousands who came out to support this year’s Pieta House on the Darkness Into Light Walk. I know it takes courage to speak up.It takes a lot of digging deep and gathering that steely mental resolve to realise the problem exists.Often I guess you may have to reach rock bottom like I did.But hopefully you won’t let it get that far.
More and more people are speaking out about their mental health. The tide is turning and we’ve got to keep it going. For ourselves,our girlfriends,husbands,sons,daughters,
mothers,fathers and friends.